Dear Family, Friends, Strangers, Future Associates, and World Wide Web,
Earlier this week, I posted about my experiences running a Piggy Back Spartan Race with my sister Carden. It was an extraordinary experience, taking a stand against muscular dystrophy and not letting it define what can and can’t be done physically. That post, and some of the facebook photos, have gotten quite a bit of web traffic and social media attention, and for that I’m very grateful of the power of the web and sharing. I’m also extremely thankful for those of you who have donated to our mission – we set out with a $500.00 goal and raised $690.00 – awesome stuff. People I haven’t connected with in years are reconnecting and reaching out and that is a wonderful thing. Simultaneously, I’m being flooded with personal emails, comments, and speaking face to face about how inspiring that story is, and for that I’m incredibly thankful and we feel the love and support from each of you. So much adoration this week, it honestly feels like Carden and I can do no wrong in this moment.
So Here’s The Thing People…
I am a regular guy who does regular guy good things and regular guy bad things and I fail quite often, usually in a forward direction, or so I think.
The reason I’m sharing this is because I can see (ever so slightly now) how a ton of “overnight” attention can get into a person’s head and mess with their psyche. I also don’t want to be portrayed as this super great brother guy who can do no wrong and has it all figured out. Yes I love my sister, yes I struggle with the fact that she struggles every single day, yes we ran an extraordinary Spartan Race, but that doesn’t mean I’m this Golden Child either… I have tons of faults that I’m working on. And personally, I don’t want to have any Kony 2012-ish meltdowns of my own – so I’m writing today with the intention of self inflicting some humility on myself and giving my audience some more honest truths about me. I’m really nervous about sharing all of this, but I think that’s a good place to be. Some people might even respond back to this and say, “Spencer – you shouldn’t share all of your faults, insecurities, and misbehaviors online because now people will perceive you as those things.” To that I say, maybe they will, maybe they won’t… I consider this as a step towards living my life with full transparency. If I have nothing to hide, there’s nothing anyone can do or say to break me down or have against me. This post is a test of strength, and most of the time those tests are uncomfortable and difficult – so here goes…
List of my Not So Perfect, Often Disgusting, Just a Regular Guy things I do:
I sometimes leave the seat up after I pee standing up… OK, most of the time I leave it up.
Sometimes when I pee standing up, it splashes everywhere – and sometimes I clean it up right then… but sometimes I don’t.
Usually I brush my teeth twice a day, sometimes it’s only once, there was a time in my life where it was less often than once a day admittedly…
I have really bad smelling farts and they reload often… particularly recently. I think it’s because my nutrition and gut health hasn’t been top notch recently.
My feet smell after a long day of being in socks and that only gets worse if you throw a workout in the mix.
I drink alcohol, typically only on weekends – beer, wine, whiskey, tequila
This morning, I had Oreos for breakfast – that was before finally getting motivated to going to the store to buy eggs and bacon. This is not completely out of the ordinary.
I will pick my nose, usually in the car or when I’m deep in thought at a computer. Most of the time I don’t realize I’m doing it, but sometimes I do, but then I keep doing it anyway. It’s super gross, but sometimes I eat those boogers too.
I used to have an addiction to pornography – the temptations are still there and I give in to the temptations occasionally and then feel bad about it afterwards like an AA person who slips up.
I stress all the time about money – how I don’t think I’m making enough or worried that I won’t have enough to live the lifestyle I want to live or support a family.
I’ve smoked marijuana, I inhaled it, and I still do in moderation.
I’ve never been in a fist fight and often wonder how I would do in one… that being said, I have been hit in the face by a punch – but I don’t remember how or why it happened… I was probably being a dick at the time which brings us to the next point…
I’ve been to jail 3 times – all three were misdemeanors, all three were alcohol related, all three were expunged.
I can be a jerk sometimes, usually unintentionally, and there are times when I feed into other people’s gossip or create gossip – I’m not proud of it and am getting better at putting out those unnecessary, destructive fires.
I have taken psychedelic drugs before – but haven’t done so in years.
I have taken a picture of my man parts before and sent it to someone full well knowing it will probably live somewhere on the internet forever.
I can get really angry, but most of the time keep a cool head and am good under pressure.
I get down on myself pretty easily and often because I constantly have high expectations for my accomplishments.
That’s all I can think of at the moment – there’s probably more – but for now, weight lifted.
Why did I just share all this?
Because you needed to know and it strengthens me to share it with you. The truth is, I want to be an inspiration to others and educate masses of people along the way, and that mission is a journey… and it would be undeserved, irresponsible, and untrustworthy of me to just accept current and future adorations without sharing my faults that make me (and You) human. So that’s where I’m currently at in my human process – I hope you see this post as an act of courage versus a chance to judge, ridicule, or start your own gossip cycle. The things I’ve shared might close some doors, and I’m ok with that. However, as God as my witness, I think the doors it will open will be doors I’m more interested in walking through.
Thank you for your support and your readership. More great content coming to you soon.